I once stapled my own finger.
1998early 1999 and Cecile and I had just moved in together. My mother was in the hospital and I was making a card for her. (I make these cards with thumbprint characters that my mom just loves.) I was in the kitchen trying to staple the card together at the seam of the folded pages and I was talking to Cecile who was in the living room.
Tracy: Hey, help me out, I'm trying to staple this in the middle of the pages. *laying the card down on the counter*
Cecile: Well just don't try to do it on the counter or the stapler will slip.
Tracy: Wait, what? I...AAAAAAH! I JUST STAPLED MY FINGER!!!!! *runs into the living room clutching her finger*
Cecile: You WHAT? GROSS! GROSS! Don't show it to me! Oh my God! I'm going to throw up.
Tracy: *running around the house* What do I do? What do I do? I STAPLED MY FINGER!
Cecile: Hold your hand above your head! Hold you hand above your head! I'm calling my mom!
*on the phone with Cecile's mom*
Cecile: Hi, Mama? Tracy just stapled her finger and I think I'm going to throw up. What do we do???
Tracy: *in the background* There is a STAPLE in my FINGER!
Cecile's Mom: What do you do? Are you sure you two are old enough to live on your own?
Cecile's Mom: Just get some tweezers and pull it OUT! *hangs up*
Cecile: Okay! I'll help you pull it out, but I can't look or I'm going to throw up.
Tracy: Well then how will you see the staple?
*Cecile waves tweezers in Tracy's direction while turning her head and closing her eyes*
Cecile: Just come towards me! Put your finger under the tweezers!
Tracy: No way! Get away from me! Owwwww I STAPLED MY FINGER! Get some ice!
Cecile: Okay okay I have ice! I'M GOING TO THROW UP!
Tracy: STOP SAYING THAT and just put it on my finger!
Cecile: I can't REACH your finger, you're holding your hand above your head!
Tracy: Well GET A STOOL!
This went on for awhile. The staple was pulled out and I was fine, of course, but it was an "I Love Lucy" episode to be remembered. Ah, good times.