Laugh It Up, Fuzzball

He's lucky I didn't pay with cash!

Most of you use your credit cards to buy gas, right? You step out of your car, swipe your card, pump your gas, go on your way, right? Okay then, you're ready for my story.

I have an odd habit that I'll share with you now. When I stop to get gas and I don't have any pockets in my clothes, I'll just stick my credit card in my bra while I'm waiting for my tank to fill up. You guys don't know me, I lose EVERYTHING. If I don't stick that card somewhere safe then I guarantee it'll end up on top of my car, or on the ground, or whatever. When I get back in my car I put my card back in my wallet. Hey, you'd be amazed how much stuff you can fit in a bra! But that's another story, ahem.

Today I was on my way home from work and I noticed that I was low on fuel. I pulled into the gas station and got out to fill my tank. Since I wore a dress today I went ahead and stuck my card in my bra while I waited, but this time when I finished I forgot to put my card back in my wallet. My next stop was The Gap. I walked in, found what I needed, and went up to the counter to pay. There were two male employees working behind the counter. One was super flamboyant and fabulous and the other was, well, hetero. Mr. Hetero was folding shirts across the counter from me while Mr. Super rang me up. When it was time for me to pay I realized that my credit card was still stuck in my bra. I thought for a second and then figured what the hell. I laughed and pulled my card out of my bra and handed it to the gaping Mr. Super. He blinked for a minute, then laughed and said "Well girl, it's as good a place as any, I guess!" I said "Hey, it's the last place they'd look, right?" He smiled and said "Absolutely the last place!" We both looked at Mr. Hetero who had stopped in mid-fold to stare at me. He then looked at Mr. Super and back down at the half-folded shirt and muttered to himself "Maybe the last place you'd look, man." Mr. Super and I dissolved into giggles as Mr. Hetero blushed and made a hasty exit. After I left the store I sat in my car and laughed for a good five minutes.

Boobs, man. They have strange and mystical powers. ;-)

Bunny: 1 , Snake: 0

I'm sure you've all seen this at one place or another, but I just can't get over it!!!! The video is made even more hilarious by the man "narrating" for us and giggling like Roscoe P. Coltrane:

These damn doctoral students and their jokes:

Below is a snippet of an IM conversation with Mr. Apropos himself, a "pop-culture obsessed academic":

Fuzzball: remind me again about your thesis

Apropos: It's about water scarcity and conflict in the developing world. I'm coming down on the con side.

Fuzzball: you're against water?

Apropos: And conflict.

Fuzzball: >:|

Apropos: I'm for thirsty peace.

What a smartass. I guess that's why we're friends. :D

Ellen's dream is MY dream as well!

Go here to watch the extended version of the new American Express ad with Ellen Degeneres and a whole mess of fabulous animals. I have not laughed as hard at ANYTHING in I can't REMEMBER when. The commercial is a joke but I honestly can't think of a better job! :D

"Okay, there's no need to be sarcastic, Roger."

Come again?

(on the phone this evening)

Torrie: "Speaking of badgers..."

Tracy: "What the hell? Were we? Badgers? Where the hell is this conversation going?"

It's like I can TOUCH YOU!!!

I have several posts that are currently in the draft stage. Until I can get them tweaked to my liking, please enjoy the following:

All it takes is a light saber, baby...

The following is a snippet from a 3 1/2 hour long phone conversation that I had with Torrie tonight. (By the way, we think that we might have set a new record for ourselves. Someone call Guinness.)

While discussing the five people that would be on our "Freebie Lists":

Torrie: See, I think you're gonna want more of the kind of dorky cute guys, you know, like the guy from The Office.

Tracy: Ohhhh yeah, John Krasinski, good call.

Torrie: Yeah, see, you can lie in bed and watch Star Wars together, and then have really great sex and then watch the end of Star Wars.

Tracy: *pauses* Oh my god, you just got me really hot.

Torrie: Yeah, I was just wondering if this conversation counts as phone sex.

Tracy: Dude, you know what Star Wars does to me, don't fool around with that.

Torrie: BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Tracy: I totally have to blog this.

So.

It's Monday. How do you feel?

Yeah, me too.

Flying Cat Friday

You guys remember Luna, right?

CHUNG CHUNG!!!

OH MY GOD. Sesame Street...and Law & Order: SVU...

It doesn't get any better than this. Unless they do CSI. Until then, this is the greatest thing ever: