Just who IS this Robert Evans you speak of?

If you hang around me or Jeff, chances are you've heard us talking about Angie Dickinson or calling people "magnificent bastards" or some such nonsense. When you ask us what the hell we're doing (and you usually do) we tell you that we're doing our Robert Evans impersonation. That never seems to explain anything, so I thought I'd try to explain it here. :)

Now, to be fair, this impersonation has morphed into a mix of Robert Evans, Will Ferrell doing Robert Goulet, and Will Ferrell doing Neil Diamond on acid....but it all falls under "Robert Evans" for us.

...just don't ask. It's easier if you don't ask.

Just who is this Robert Evans? Well you can read about him here, but I prefer listening to Patton Oswalt talk about him. That's what spawned all of this insanity.

I know, right? Crazy and hilarious! The problem is, we can't stop The Voice. The Voice has taken on a life of its own. I'm worried that our friends will ostracize us and we'll have to choose between them and Robert Evans. I see frenzied late night phone calls where we whisper to each other about a heroin-crazed Brian Dennehy punching us in the solar plexus. I see a Seinfeld episode...

I would just like to point out that others are being influenced by The Voice. At Benjy's last Sunday, my super proper friend Cecile was annoyed by The Voice until she heard the table next to ours complaining that their steak was "not 8 oz. as advertised by the waiter." She leaned over to me and said (IN The Voice!) "I had a young Al Pacino in my trailer and I said to him, 'Kid, that ain't no eight ounces!'"

I fell out of my chair. :)

Comments

[Erin]

God I love you! And for the record, I will NEVER make you choose between me & Robert Evans. It's just too damn funny to ever give up.

[Jeff]

I was in a whore house in Juarez, Mexico, knee deep in hookers and Xanax when a young Scott Baio entered the room and demanded Barbie Benton's phone number. I said, "Listen up, Chachie. Ms. Benton is no Jonie. Now, get your ass back to Milwaukee."

Man, I love the voice. :)

[Dr. Ding]

The Voice. So many practical uses, so few true aficionados.

Puts me in mind of Seinfeld's J. Peterman, explaining "The Urban Sombrero" or discussing his trips to an opium den.

Love it! Always wondered where the phrase "you magnificent bastard" came from...and now I know! Which is good, because I call people this all the time.

[Kymberlie R. McGuire]

Ha! I finally got to listen to this and it was so funny.

I too would never make you choose because listening to The Voice always makes me laugh. I'm starting to do it around other people who don't know you and I get The Look.

[Jenny]

Can't. stop. giggling.