Five Death Defying Feats for a Hot Half-Naked Man

Earlier this week I gave someone the difficult task of choosing five situations where he would put his "life in mortal danger for the opportunity to be surrounded by three naked attractive women." Don't ask how the subject came up, I'm not sure I could explain in a way that would make any sense at all. I did tell him that his death wasn't guaranteed, and that the women would be hot AND hot for him, and so he went to work.

After reading his answers I started thinking about what my own answers would be in a similar situation when I realized: What woman would put herself in mortal danger just to be surrounded by three horny naked men? I mean...ew. Don't get me wrong, I love the boys, but I mean...three naked men in a turbulent aircraft about to crash just doesn't get my engine revving, you know? So I decided to change the reward. Instead of three naked men, I'm going to choose five death defying feats that I would face for the chance to be with one super hot (and hot for me), yummy-smelling, funny, charming boxer-clad man. If he happens to be Clive Owen, I will not object. Personality is important, darlings, I'm not putting myself through hell to mack on some dullard. Also shirtless isn't enough, I like legs. I figure leave him in his underwear and we're all happy. If we do manage to escape death we can ditch the drawers easily enough, right? Right. So here we go:

Held Hostage by Terrorists
Imagine it: Innocently traveling abroad when your group is suddenly kidnapped by...I don't know, crazy Albanian separatists who want Dubya to release their leader from prison. We're thrown into a small room with nothing but the terrifying anticipation of our possibly imminent doom. There's a guard outside and periodically people come into the room and yell at us in Albanian and we have no idea what's going on; we're just running high on adrenaline. I have to say I would absolutely not be opposed to sharing my cell with a hot guy in boxers, especially if my head is going to be cut off on CNN the next day.

Trapped in a Rickety Elevator
I'm just a wee bit claustrophobic, but I think that sharing the space with a boxer clad hottie would definitely make life just a little bit easier in a rickety old elevator. If nothing else he could just hold on to me and comfort me through my paralyzing hysteria. Mmmmm snuggly goodness with a shirtless man...

On Top of a Mountain with Limited Supplies and Deserted by Sherpas
We're climbing Kilimanjaro or something and the weather is terrible and the sherpas ditch us in the middle of the night. We're left with nothing but our tent and the food and supplies in our packs. Will we make it down the mountain? Will we die? Who knows? All I know is that there's a half-naked man in my tent and the wind is threatening to blow us off of a cliff. Also since he's not clothed I'm assuming I'll have to keep him warm. It's the humane thing to do.

Riding on an Out-of-Control Raft Down Whitewater Rapids
Is there a waterfall ahead? Will we perish on the rocks? Hey, who cares. We're both wet. Fun for all. Now lose the life jacket and come sit next to me.

and finally...

ZOMBIES
Let's face it, the day is coming. According to my friend Kymberlie each day is one step closer to the inevitable zombie attack. If it's going to happen anyway, why not let it happen with me and a hot half-naked man together? We can barricade ourselves with the rest of our friends in Central Market and hope for the best. Our brains might be eaten...or maybe the government will save us in time. Meanwhile I'll grab some chocolate frosting and keep myself busy with the boy. Ahem.

So that's it for me.

FIN.

Comments

[Kymberlie R. McGuire]

Zombie attacks are by far the best way to go since I can definitely keep us alive through that. Y'all laugh now, but some day, you will thank me.

[Gymshoes]

Uh, not to put too fine a point on it, but if you're riding whitewater rapids and you're holding onto anything...er...other than the boat, then you're probably not riding a raft---you're probably riding the water. LOL! I think the payoff for that scenario won't come until you've both dragged yourself ashore, in which case it would be a stranded-in-the woods with a half-naked man thing. ;-) Which would be very similar to the "deserted by sherpas" scenario, except you'd be wet instead of freezing. (A vast improvement in the "bad" situation, IMHO.) ;-)