Laugh It Up, Fuzzball

Ehhhhhhhnnnnn *rubbing jowls*

How am I spending my Friday evening? Well, it's going to be a crazy weekend, so I'm resting up on the couch with the Jimmy dog and watching one of my all-time favorite movies: THE GODFATHER.

If you haven't seen it, you're a fool. A fool!

Fuzzball Film Review: Casino Royale

Well hell. I was all set to hate this movie and damned if I didn't love it. Daniel Craig has now supplanted Timothy Dalton as my second favorite Bond ever. (Connery will ALWAYS be number one, always.) I know, I know what I said. I was wrong! Yes, you heard it: I was wrong. Now I can't WAIT for the next installment! (I also thought that Judi Dench was right on top of her game in this film, but since she doesn't fill out a Speedo like this she's not getting any more blog space. Ahem. Sorry.)

Craig makes one HELL of a 007. He's rough, raw, sexy...but what really got me was his sly sense of humor. Oooooh he got me all tingly -- and I don't usually dig the blonde boys!

Here's the one flaw: TOO. DAMN. LONG. I almost thought John Woo was directing. You know what I mean, that man never knows when enough is enough. Casino Royale had several ideal ending points but it just didn't seem to want to stop rolling.

Casino Royale has returned the 007 legacy to its original Connery glory, in my humble opinion. Less technology, more ass-kicking. That's the name of the game.

Fuzzball Film Review: Children of Men

Well, I'm still reeling. First let me say that I had no reservations about seeing this film because DUH, Clive Owen is of course my movie star husband. I also thought that the premise was scarier than any sort of horror film that could ever be conceived, and I was therefore intrigued.

Now, I don't normally watch dark, violent films because I go to the movies to be transported out of the real world and into a (hopefully) better one, at least for a short time. I don't pay money to be reminded what a shithole of a world it is that we we live in. However I couldn't resist the lure of Clive and I thought that Children of Men just looked amazing.

I think that anyone that goes to see Children should also read Y: The Last Man, at least the first issue. (You can read the first issue online HERE.) You will GET IT, man, you will understand the madness. Seriously, if you enjoy Children I have absolute faith that you will enjoy the adventures of Yorrick & Co.

 

And now to the dirt -- MAJOR SPOILERS AFTER THE JUMP -- DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE!

All a-quiver...

(I write this post with apologies to my male readers.)

I just watched a total piece of crap movie. Have any of you seen Domino? Awful. I mean pee-yew. The film editing was insane; I felt like one of those Japanese kids watching Pokémon.

Okay so now you're all saying "Fuzzball, why the hell did you keep watching if it was so bad?" Oh my friends-- I found a reason, and that reason's name is Edgar Ramirez. WHERE has this man been hiding? Oh my. Ohhhhhh my.

He's my Venezuelan Clive Owen. I also have to admit to liking rough, dirty Edgar over clean-cut pretty Edgar. You guys know me, I like 'em scruffy. Rowr.

The post where I present you with loads of good makeout music, courtesy of John Williams:

Since my pop-culture boyfriend has obviously perfected his Star Wars Sexy Talk, I think it only fitting that we find just the right music for some good Lucas-sponsored lovin'. Okay let's see, well there's the obvious Han Solo and the Princess theme. I mean, hello, it's Han and Leia.

Han: You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life.
Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han: I'm a nice man...

Listen to "Han Solo and The Princess"

Yow, I know, that Imperial March thrown in does kind of ruin the mood. Scratch that. Um, let me look...oh hey, the Luke and Leia theme is beautiful, how about that one?

Listen to "Luke and Leia"

Yeeecchhh wait a minute-- they're brother and sister! I just wouldn't be able to get that out of my head, forget it. Okay hold up, how about something a little more contemporary? A little forbidden love perhaps?

Listen to "Across the Stars"

Oh who am I kidding -- she dies and he becomes the second most evil guy in the galaxy. To hell with it, let's scrap the love stuff. I know we all just want to hear "The Asteroid Field", anyway. Why fight it?

C3P0: Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately three thousand, seven hundred and twenty to one!!

Han Solo: Never tell me the odds!

Listen to "The Asteroid Field"

Ahhhhhh...now that's the good stuff.

"I love you..." "I know..."

Chris has a great post today about my namesake. He also includes a clip of one of my favorite scenes in movie history. It makes me weepy every time! *sniff*

Oh, and I'll ask you guys the same question that I asked him: why didn't Vader let Boba Fett shoot Chewie? Hmmmmm...

A promise is a promise...

Fuzzball Film Reviews!

The Upside of Anger: Kevin Costner, Joan Allen, Keri Russell, Alicia Witt, Erika Christensen, Evan Rachel Wood

To date this is one of the best films that Kevin Costner has ever done. This movie was honest and funny and heartwrenching...if any of you come from a family that puts the "fun" in dysfunctional then this movie is for you. Ladies, I guarantee that you will be able to identify with at least ONE of the daughters in Upside. For me it was Keri Russell's character. Parents want one thing, you want the other, you want to please parents, you end up in the hospital with stress-induced illnesses. Ah, family. ;) Seriously, though, I don't think that this film got the praise that it deserved. It's got a fantastic ensemble cast, young and not-so-young, and you should all rent it or catch it on HBO if you can.

Must Love Dogs: Diane Lane, (Fuzzball Favorite) John Cusack, Elizabeth Perkins, Christopher Plummer, Dermot Mulroney, Stockard Channing

First things first, the dreaded opening sentence: I read the book first. Yes yes, I read the book long before the movie came out, so I already had my own little movie in my head. Having said that, though, I thought that it was a decent cute little movie. It didn't really pretend to be anything other that a frothy light romantic comedy. I must admit that I liked Stockard Channing's Dolly even better than the book Dolly. Less obsessively crazy, you see. I also like that Diane Lane actually looks like a real woman at a real age. She's not some sort of hyper-botoxed sicone mama still trying to play 20-something roles. Snaps to you, Diane!

Grandma's Boy: Linda Cardellini, Alex Covert, Shirley Jones, Doris Roberts, Nick Swardson,  Joel Moore

Okay okay let's just commence with the ridicule. Yes, I watched this movie. Yes, I laughed my ass off. No, I'm not ashamed of myself. This movie was produced by Adam Sandler's Happy Madison group and it stars a number of his co-star buddies like Alex Covert and Peter Dante. I LOVE THESE GUYS. Truth be told I like them more than Adam Sandler, so this movie was really perfect for me. If you know any gamers (or if you ARE a gamer) then you should see this movie. If you're a giant nerd (like ME, friends) then you should see this movie. If only for the pleasure of seeing Joel Moore talk like a robot while dressed like Neo. Oh man, I have a seriously weird sense of humor...

The 40-Year-Old Virgin: Steve Carell (squeal!), Catherine Keener, Paul Rudd

Do me a favor: if you haven't seen this movie then go look in a mirror. Stare at yourself intently. Now slap your face. Now go rent the movie and don't make me tell you that again.

Butterfield 8: Elizabeth Taylor, Laurence Harvey

I realized that I had never seen this movie and I was ashamed of myself. So I used my trusty iControl and tuned up the free TCM movie channel and there it was: commerical-free and full of violet-eyed goodness. Elizabeth Taylor is truly a force of nature. Butterfield 8 won her an Oscar but did you know that she HATES the film? She resented having to make it but she owed MGM one more film and if she didn't make it she would have had to back out of 20th Century Fox's Cleopatra. She wasn't about to do that since she would be receiving a million-dollar paycheck for eye-humping Richard Burton, so Butterfield 8 was made. For me, the movie was rather meh. I mean, Taylor is gorgeous and her acting was fantastic, but the story was pretty meh. I honestly prefer Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, but that might just be me.

and finally....

Bikini Round-Up: who cares?

Oh my goodness. Bikini Round-Up. What a flick. For kicks I looked this "movie" up on IMDB. I got a huge laugh because the movie page says

"If you like this title, we also recommend...The Muppets Valentine Show (1974)"

Hear that, folks? If you enjoy late-night-cable-only-softcore-lame-comedy-porn, then The Muppets are for YOU.

Whirlwind...

I started my new job on Monday with a very large oil and gas company. I'm working with a really nice group of people and I think that this is a possible permanent position. I think. The only downside to this job is that I'm working downtown again and I HATE working downtown. But hey, it's a job, and I'm not working for crazy people like my LAST temp job. (Don't worry, I'll be posting about that one later.)

My apartment is coming along nicely, it feels very homey now. My bedroom is still pretty much of a disaster, but that's just because I have acres of clothes to wash. I'm also trying to decide on a paint color for the upstairs. Any ideas?

As for film reviews, I've watched a bunch of movies lately. I'll update on them in detail later, but here's a list:

• The Upside of Anger
• Must Love Dogs
• Grandma's Boy
• The 40-Year-Old Virgin
• Butterfield 8
• Bikini Round-Up  (just wanted to see if you were paying attention ahahahaha -- seriously though, that is a real "movie" that HBO likes to show in the wee hours of the morning. I'll let you draw your own conclusions.)

Wet weekend? Time for a Fuzzball Film Fest:

While Houston washed away over the past few days I stayed holed up in the new FuzzPad pretending to be domestic. I washed four loads of laundry, hung some artwork, swept the floor...and watched a crapload of (to quote Peter Griffin) freakin' sweet movies. I had seen all of them before, but that didn't alter my enjoyment of watching them again.

The Living Daylights -- Timothy Dalton as James Bond

Everyone has their favorite Bond. Okay, okay, everyone's favorite is Sean Connery, but most people differ on their SECOND favorite Bond. Mine is Dalton. Oh, stop shrieking. He was the victim of a crappy production team. Dalton was by far the best successor to Connery's Bond. He made Roger Moore look like a woman, as far as I'm concerned.

P.S. Good Bond theme song in this flick -- performed by a-ha.

Moonraker -- Roger Moore as James Bond

I hate that Roger Moore got some of the best Bond movies. This isn't one of them, but I thought I'd throw my opinion out there anyway. I like Moonraker because it stars my dad's ex-girlfriend Lois Chiles. Yeah, that's right. My dad dated a Bond girl. Top that. ;)

I also like the theme song to this Bond movie. Shirley Bassey is a badass. She performed three Bond songs in all: Goldfinger (the best of them all), Diamonds Are Forever, and Moonraker. 

Kiss the Girls -- Morgan Freeman, Ashley Judd, Cary Elwes (in a VAST departure from this role)

Now, I'll say this: I (of course) enjoyed the book much more than the movie, but I thought that this particular James Patterson adaptation was pretty cool, UNLIKE this one. Yech. Morgan Freeman rules, though. He RULES.

What's Up, Doc? -- Barbra Streisand, Ryan O'Neal, Madeline Kahn

There is absolutely NOTHING that I dislike about this movie. It is one of my all-time favorites and I could watch it again and again and again. Ah for the days of a funny Barbra, a hot Ryan, and a...living Madeline. Talk about a life lost FAR too early. I'll tell you, between Madeline and Gilda Radner, God must be laughing his ass off in Heaven.

Pride & Prejudice -- Kiera Knightley, (Fuzzball husband) Matthew McFadyen

Dammit I did NOT want to like Kiera Knightley in this role. I didn't want to like her, period. Anyone who shows that much of her bottom teeth is not to be trusted. But she was actually very good in this latest Austen adaptation! Damn you, Knightley!

The only thing that made me hemmmhurrrrrrr about this film was the dreadful miscasting of Jena Malone. Yech yech and yech. I much preferred Julia Sawalha's Lydia in the 1995 Pride & Prejudice mini-series.

My junior movie star husband (we all know the senior) Matthew McFadyen was sublime as Darcy. How could anyone resist a man who looks like this and says things like:

You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.

Seriously. Come on, people.

Batman Begins -- (deep breath) Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Gary Oldman, Tom Wilkinson, Cillian Murphy, Morgan Freeman, Ken Watanabe, and Rutger Hauer (gasping for air)

Are you kidding me with this? How could this movie fail??? Okay, okay, ONE casting misstep. I'll overlook it! This film was everything that a Batman movie should be. It was amazing. AMAZING. My favorite thing about Batman Begins? Yikes. It's a toss-up between the car and the soundtrack. James Newton Howard AND Hans Zimmer??? Aieeeeeee! The score was spectacular. I am dying for news of the next film in the series. I do know that it will be Holmes-less, and therefore perfect.

So there you go. My wet weekend. How was yours?

The Da Vinci Disaster, part DEUX:

I can't stop laughing at this sentence from Dana Stevens' review of The Da Vinci Code for Slate:

Shouldn't the meeting of a Harvard symbologist and a decipherer of codes for the Paris police be a nerd orgy, with the two brainiacs bonding over their shared love for anagrams?

NERD ORGY! AHAHAHAHHAHA! Perfect. I love it.